“It is the right thing for me in this time.” Reflections on Iaido practice by Kasmir Zaratkiewicz, May 4, 2021
It may seem difficult at first,
but everything is difficult at first
- Musashi
It will be 3 years in August that I have been practicing Iaido. I wonder why? Why did I choose Iaido? The truth is, I thought it looked easy, when I watched an old YouTube video, in black and white of a Iaidoka, (Iaido practitioner), executing a form from the sitting position with a wakizashi, (short sword). In fact, it is not easy! There are numerous little elements to Iaido and there is an overall flow to the form that is quite difficult to master.
It can be frustrating at times. When I have reached a level of what I think is accomplishment, sensei will point out many new aspects of the form, I must now attempt to include that in my practice.
When I started to work on the form, I became aware of both physical and emotional occurrences.
In the physical, I have experienced strains, pulled muscles, soreness, a twisted toe and various aches and pains. When performing noto, I have poked myself with the kissaki (point) of the blade.
In the emotional, just a swirl of emotions have come up for me. I have felt depressed because, I was not understanding something and frustrated by just how long it took to get to the understanding. Anxiety, that I still have not got it, yet. I have ridiculed myself for not being able to comprehend, a technique. It has been brutal to my ego, but it is my ego that is the biggest block to the process. Just when I was feeling that I had made some level of accomplishment, there are several new things to be aware of.
There are also, good feelings. There is happiness and joy when I have accomplished some aspect of the practice that I had been working on for a long time. I experience joy, when I know I have reached further and accomplished some little aspect of the form. It’s humorous, when I see it is my ego, that really gets in the way of learning the form.
“Fall 7 times, stand up 8”
Iaido is about developing ourselves, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The “do” means “way”, it is the way of Iai. It is sometimes defined as, an art that emphasizes being aware and capable of drawing the sword and responding to sudden attacks. It is not a work of perfection; but rather one of progress. At times it has seemed that I am trying to climb to a mountain peak and when I get there, I notice it is a false summit, with another series of peaks still to climb. I must keep climbing.
Ichigo Ichie, roughly translated, means one moment, one opportunity. There is no other moment, no other time, that will be as this one right now, we are living in. In practicing Iaido, I am working to hone my abilities to be in the moment. There are times when I finish practice and I leave the dojo, I have a feeling, a sensation in my body – in my mind – but it’s more than that, it’s an awareness. I believe that is the spiritual part of the practice. I am working to achieve this -- an awareness that seems to be never ending, an ongoing process. This awareness is to develop mindfulness. This is the “do” in Iaido. Working, constantly, on this mindfulness. It is the right thing for me in this time.
Kasmir Zaratkiewicz practices Iaido with Suzane Van Amburgh Sensei at Multnomah Aikikai, Portland Oregon